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Legal grinding are those actions that create out of the box opportunities that provide the freedom to start, support, and raise a family on your own terms and not within anyone else’s limitations. 

NJ Pastor Bans Facebook Profiles for Congregation

Many of you may know but this past Sunday Pastor Cedric Miller of Living Word Christian Fellowship in New Jersey publicly told his entire congregation that social media is a catalyst for infidelity. He even went so far as to demand that all church officials in his congregation remove their facebook profiles or step down from their leadership positions.  This comes at the wake of Pastor Miller's revelation that he is currently counseling 20 married couples having marital issues because of their spouse reconnecting with an ex on facebook. This is actually after he initially suggested all married couples share their Facebook passwords.

The question that comes to mind is if a pastor should be creating such a mandate like this to his congregation? Is he really dealing with the root cause of these couples in counseling real marital issues? If that spouse is going to "ignite passion" with an old flame by chatting on Facebook are they not capable of also chatting it up with a man or woman at the grocery store? So many questions arise as to if what Pastor Miller is mandating is even a viable solution.  Moreover, is he not created possible drama in marriages that have not even been affected by Facebook at all.  What about the happily married couple that are now looking at each other discussing whether to close their accounts or not? One may agree, one may not.  I am sure the pastor's intentions are genuine to help repair the marriages of those he is counseling. When is it actually too much since he is pushing his beliefs on the ENTIRE congregation about something that is of the flesh "The Internet".

Not that this should be related but Pastor Cedric Miller's past also resurfaced after this public demand to his congregation.  He actually admitted in a 2003 criminal case proceeding to a 3-way relationship between his wife and a church assistant. The church assistant's wife also sometimes participated. This was a sexual relationship that often occurred during Thursday bible meetings and after Sunday church services. This situation along with the alleged scandal of Bishop Eddie Long brings forth it is not about Facebook or the Internet we must deal with the individual people's issues leading to behaviors that may trouble a marriage.

Your thoughts?

Advance Your Cash: Truth Creates Money, Lies Destroy It ~ Suzy Orman

While cruising around my home town searching for locations to possibly open a business, to my amazement I saw a cash advance & title pawn companies on every corner. There are even businesses that were previously restaurants now open for business serving up cash. If you are not aware these companies offer short term small cash loans at or below $500. The borrower writes a post dated check for the loan amount plus fees in exchange for the cash. Usually there is a 2-3 week maturity date by which the borrower comes in to pay the loan off with cash or allows their personal check to be deposited in the lender's account for repayment. Often borrowers actually come in as they become habitual users to the point of the clerk asking them "Do you want to re-write today?" Meaning post date another check! Now the lenders are also getting savy as to offer pre-approval via the click of the keyboard furthur luring you in and saving the embarassment of God forbid someone seeing you going in there.

I know how the story goes because I have been there. Right of of college, getting accustomed to what my young adult spending patterns should be, I was a customer of a company that offered these services. My $100 payday loan I would pay $15 in fees that didn't sound like much at the time.  However if I borrowed every 2 weeks the APR would be 390% so I soon realized a few hundred dollars in fees a year doesn't make much sense. Then I got savy and thought what if I just get a credit card with a balance of like $250. The first $250 is like "free" money then when I get paid I can pay it off.  Same concept but as long as I pay my balance within the 30 day grace period, they make no money off me.  Wrong! Becasue the behavior of myself who was not financially savy at the time didn't follow that plan. Instead I found something to spend the money on creating a life style of spending that didn't match my income.  Then paying the $15 monthly minimums to the credit card company started and there I was again held hostage to high APRs. After at least a year or more of this rat race, I finally realized that as long as I did not spend unless I had the cash I could clean up the mess. The light bulb truly went on when I heard a quote from Suzy Orman's late night financial show: " Most Bad Debt Occurs because Of a Lie." I found this to be so true as a lot of us spend while out socializing through our affiliations which causes us to try and please other people. We are all works in progress in the financial area but until we stop lying to our self and others we will continue to disallow the Truth to Create Money and will continue to allow Lies to Destroy It.

SOUTH MANEY: Proposal may halt liquor business

Hey Readers, Hubs and I want you to weigh in.  We are trying open a liquor store in Murfreesboro, TN & are facing extreme opposition.  Please do tell us what you think. Article links below.

http://www.dnj.com/article/20101104/OPINION02/11040313/WINDROW-It-s-time-to-put-up-shut-up-or-drink-up

http://www.tennessean.com/article/D4/20101104/NEWS01/11040315/SOUTH+MANEY++Proposal+may+halt+liquor+business

Missions Accomplished: The Life List (B.C.) Updated

Two things checked off The Life List B.C (Before Children).....


We are proud to announce our convenience store attached to my mother in law's restaurant The Fish House in Tennessee is now open for business! We are able to provide the neighborhood quality & low cost products along with great food.  


I previously updated you that our company Expressive Beauty launched where we have opportunities for women that are looking to become part of the Billion Dollar haircare industry.  Finally African American women that have so long only been a consumer of human hair extensions can now be at the top of the distribution chain to sell direct to salons & each other. 


Now the next level of work begins to grow these businesses.  Stay tuned as the "Grind Unfolds" & stay focused on your projects.



"The critical ingredient is getting off your butt and doing something. It's as simple as that. A lot of people have ideas, but there are few who decide to do something about them now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But today. The true entrepreneur is a doer, not a dreamer."


- Nolan Bushnell, founder of Atari and Chuck E. Cheese's

THE LIFE LIST

• Debt Reduction Plan- student loans, business loans if applicable
• Learn how to swim
• Get Lasik
• Pole dancing classes
• Spiritual growth
• Home improvements to our condo
• Take cooking classes (various cuisines)
• Car payoff
• Open locally branded convenience store(s)
• Launch grassroots company to empower women

Invisible Capital: Start a Business with it Today

It may sound ludacris but Chris Rabb so eloquently speaks to us in his book Invisible Captial that entrepreneurship is very attainable.  There is a little known fact among many that it really doesn't take any money to start a business.  Essentially, the first thing you need is not physical capital but human capital that is found with in yourself.  Rabb explains the invisible capital is human, social and cultural capital that interlock to reveal the beginning of a company launch.  Human capital is your skills, credentials and experiences; social capital being your network and what they think of you; and cultural capital being how you operate in different environments and your ability to communicate in ways that inspire confidence and create opportunity. Now doesn't this make the average personal believe now that the American Dream of working for yourself more attainable. It is very true that it does take physical capital to build and grow a business but the reality is the launch begins with you and that is the ONLY way to begin.



"In financing growing companies, we always looked for human value that didn’t appear on the balance sheet.. the quality of management, especially its entrepreneurial drive."
Michael Milken

Black in America: The Almighty Debt Sneak Preview

The truth is I don't need to see the Special airing in 1 hour to know exactly the major story line. The CNN website highlights topics such as "Keeping The Faith in Job Search" or "What the recession stole from Black America". This all sounds like "we are broke with little hope" in my mind.  There will be a small segment about the alternative (Entrepreneurship) for which is really truly the major answer to the "Almighty Debt". The two Roberts brothers from St. Louis are the business moguls that have an empire of hotels & TV stations. I am very interested to see these very successful men explain to us how they knew at an early age how to NOT become a "debt" statistic in a 2010 CNN Black in America special.


I think back on all the afro-centric publications where you often see the career progression section informs you "How to negotiate a raise" or "Surviving work place politics". However helpful this has been over the years those messages are out of date.  We must switch the conversation to how we take control over our career through entrepreneurship. Highlighting people like the Roberts brothers is a great way to see how several years of past hard work can allow you to reap the benefits. This can seem overwhelming for most people that never thought working for themselves is an option.  The better message is for us to make our community aware of realistic future successful start ups to show everyone must start somewhere to move forward. The discovery of a true passion can lead to an "organic" business start up that will be very attainable for those in our communities that want better for their families.


I could stay on this soap box for hours but the truth is if there were no Black in America "Almighty Debt" there would be no future CNN follow-up to highlight Expressive Beauty Inc, a company that offers a solution building the "Almighty Equity".  We at Expressive Beauty offer exceptional opportunities for you. If you are interested in becoming an entrepreneur or just looking for great hair products at an even better price; we’ve got exactly what you want. Our company was created to provide hair products and supplies to minorities through independent entrepreneurs.  

N'secure The Movie: Don't Bother

So last night we went to our first drive in movie experience at one of the last few theaters located in East Atlanta, GA. Sadly, our first experience was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I really wanted to support the black film makers but this one is definitely going straight to BET and TV One. I am a faithful listener of The Steve Harvey morning show so other than listening to Nephew Tommy every morning I would have never known about the movie. Its unfortunate he had no funny parts as the comedian usually can save a movie. Well at least there are a lot of Memphis businesses that received shine time from this project. However the movie was so horrible I only remember the last restaurant Spindinis.

After the movie finally ended, a cabin feverish like feeling came over us as it felt like we were sitting in our car for hours already. Glad we decided to stay for the double feature because "Takers" definitely made up for the night. Kudos to the whole cast for a very action packed, intense drama filled with greed and deception.

Who's The Boss: Expressive Beauty a Company for Women to Become Bossy

On last night I attended an empowering event hosted by the The Boss Network.  It was a night of celebration of women who are bosses in their own right.  This network's vision is "Bringing Out Successful Sisters. The personal stories of each key influencer makes any woman that is a boss in her own rite remember why we work so hard to turn a passion into a business plan. Melissa Dawn Johnson's personal story being so connected with your business you may even to die for it. Of course her story was a comical experience of a false ADT home invasion scare but you definitely feel the seriousness how we feel about what we do.

Atlanta was the second stop in the network's tour of celebrating key influencers. For me it was perfect timing as we all know Atlanta has an entrepreneurial pulse that is beeping every minute.  That is why Legal Grinding Wifey is pleased to announce the launch of Expressive Beauty Inc. a company for African American women. We specialize in our exclusive Satin Series human hair extensions & established natural products distribution.  This is a unique opportunity at time where we need to take control of an industry where the businesses we buy from have known little about the consumer base so much that they feel its sufficient to sell hair out of plastic bags. I am pleased to share with what myself, hubby, and team have been working so hard to launch. Check out one of our pres releases here.

Fellow boss ladies don't forget to tell every women you know to plug into The Boss Network founder Cameka Smith has worked so hard to launch a year ago to connect all of us with that one common purpose: striving for Success.

FOCUS Wifeys

Happy Saturday Night Grinding Wifeys
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Easy Way To Relax: 10 Minutes Daily

I am back after a 2 week hiatus and hating myself for not keeping up with my blog. From being out of town on business to merging two lives in a new marriage can have you on the go constantly. I realize now I must find therapeutic time to just plain 'ole relax. The past year my mailbox has been flooded with magazine subscriptions I  recieved from cashing in on unused airline loyalty miles.  As they kept piling up I felt buried in the desire to keep up with the trending articles of Ebony, Essence, People, etc. I even selfishly thought one day how great it would be to have someone read them and actually brief me on the hot topics of the month.  Instead of approaching someone with that foulishness I settled for passing them along to my mother and sought pleasure in seeing her read them.  So today after a restless day at the office, I came home to relax and thought twice about cutting on the TV on and picked up the new 65th anniversary Ebony I just recieved today and found comfort in relaxing through reading. I even got some blog post ideas I have started drafting.  As I continue learning this new life of a wife I see in order to get things done sometimes television is the biggest distraction ever to productivity & true relaxation.

Honeymoon Over: Returning to work = Maternity Leave Jitters

Today marked the day I returned to work from being off for 2 weeks for our wedding and honeymoon time off. Quite ironic as I think it is silly for me to even have thought of this but I wonder how many women contemplate taking a lot of personal time off from work. How many fear and think that if your job can go about business as usual without you then wouldn’t they replace or give rid of you? I don’t know any people personally who have experienced some type of prejudice as a woman for taking a lot of personal time. This is not a new work place jitter for women and I have read tons of great blog stories so I am not here to try and reinvent the wheel but just get some dialogue going on how real is this anxiety? Any personal stories of women returning to work feeling a little on the outside the "loop"?

I did walk in today to discover one person had been let go which was not a suprise to me but none the less things like this always ruffle feathers.

A Baby Sitter's Dream: Twin Angels

We had the pleasure again of babysitting our friend's beauty twin baby girl and boy. We have watched them grow since birth and are excited as we lead up to celebrating their 1 year birthday this month. I remember a somber feeling when their family was considering moving out of state. This is the closest I have ever been to babies. Its actually kind of cool to be able to have a part in raising kids and learning without actually  having to do it every day. I know that is bad but its a great opportunity for a wannabe mom.

Our Friday started with picking them up from daycare.

Realization #1 Twin baby girl would not reach for me when I tried to get her from the daycare room attendant. Had to bribe her with her afternoon frosty bottle. Its kind of eye opening for me to see how attached they get to the daycare workers.

The evening progressed with playing with whatever we could find in their bag, then rice and veggies dinner, bottles, and they went to bed after only 15 minutes of the precious crying/baby baby babbling. I thought it was so cute how my husband was so concerned cutting down the TV downstairs to listen closely for them not believing me they would drift off to sleep. Only a few hours in and we are tired but all smiles because we are at our 2 week anniversary.

We slept light not knowing what to expect the next morning.So we woke up tired, early, and went in the room where they were in the pack-n-play sleeping. We were ecstatic to see happy babies that were actually already up and just laying waiting for us.

Realization #2 Secretly wishing I have low key babies like the twins that sleep 8PM to 8AM then wait for you to wake up. .

We are a rice and fruit breakfast, then they did what seemed to be their morning ritual of crawling, rolling around, and attacking anything that was laying next to them. This was what I believe to be my husband's first stab at baby sitting so I was the observant wifey seeing how my hubby can handle children and he has a natural pink and blue hand.  We will have to see if his dad's genes get skipped to the generation we will create one day.

The Life List (B.C.)

In the words of our Uncle David who successfully built a beautiful life with his late wife and was able to enjoy their dream retirement home in Port St. Lucie, FL for 17 years “You must charter your course and dream together”.

During our engagement we pondered and planned how to create streams of income for our household. Now marks the time we must execute in order to live the life we desire to have on into the future. We set up our makeshift office downstairs for the day. Our first work day was very enlightening. I truly felt how it feels to be grinding towards a financial and personal purpose. As The Roots, Talib Kweli, and Jeezy echoed in the background we worked all day on our grassroots company that will empower every women continue enjoying and make an income from an industry that is so near and dear to our hears: Beauty.  More to come on the business leading up to launch time but until then I will share our goals we want to achieve B.C. (not Before Christ - we already saved :) but "Before Children")

Launch grassroots company to empower women
Open locally branded convenience stores
Get down to High School Weight
Payoff Car
Debt Reduction Plan- student loans, business loans if applicable
Learn how to swim
Get Lasik
Pole dancing classes
Spiritual growth
Home improvements to our condo
Take cooking classes (various cuisines)

The Beginning of Wifey

August 28, 2010

It is the day after the wedding and we are as happy as can be. We are now making our way to Florida to catch a plane destined for Montego Bay, Jamaica. My mother came over as I was packing. It wasn’t until this day I started feeling like a woman no longer under the wing of her mother. In between packing I was trying to locate a vase to put a bouquet of red roses in I received as a gift. She knew exactly where she stored it while helping me clean the week leading up to the wedding. Much to my amazement found  it for me and politely but it on the counter. I could not help to say “Mom, you are not going to cut and put them in there for me?”. She says no.  I see she is clearly very tired after the weeked wedding mayhem but of course I saw this as my first indication of my right of passage as a new wife. Then I proceeded again to test my boundaries yet again and asked her to come upstairs to help me pack. She gave me that tired look again and I lost it.. silently sobbing. No longer could I rely on my mother to do those things for me like I was a little girl. At that moment I couldn’t help but to feel on a island very lonely for a minute. However I quickly realized this wonderful man sitting across from me I married yesterday is here with me. Its funny how marriage does feel different. You actually have an extended identify outside of yourself.  He and I now are one unit.

Introduction to Wifey

Allow me to introduce myself as Legal Grinding Wifey. I met a wonderful man on February 28, 2008 and my life has never been the same since. He compliments me in every single way imaginable. I came from the cookie cutter timeline of graduate with honors from high school, go to 4 year college degree, and start working a "good "job. He on the other hand has always been an entrepreneur who at the tender age of 20 talked his way into the offices of FUBU to pitch a young urban clothing line to them. Our experiences combined together create a power couple that is destined for greatness. I knew when I married him he did not expect me to be an entrepreneur like him. The beauty of being his wife is being comfortable that I could go on about my corporate logistics career and he never would have any issues with it.

Today I married him and we exchanged vows in a beautiful double ringed ceremony in Georgia with 150 of our closest friends and family. As the wedding day apporached I thought a lot about children. However, my thoughts were not of the usual upcoming newleywed in love to the point of wanting to procreate sooner rather than later. However, my thoughts were the opposite realizing we are not ready for children. I started analyzing those around me with children and how I want my life to be as a mother one day. I really don’t want to see myself birth a child then to realize how much I hate allowing daycare to raise them or if we are blessed with twins (they run on both sides, the closest being his dad is a twin) un-expectantly bearing double the cost having two beautiful angels.

After following and reading my blog favorites I met as a result of a chance opportunity to attend Blogalicious 2009 in Atlanta, I have pondered and now discovered my blogging voice. Hence, Legal Grinding Wifey is born on this day August 27, 2010.

Legal grinding are those actions that create out of the box opportunities that provide the freedom to start, support, and raise a family on your own terms and not within anyone else’s limitations.

I look forward to sharing the day to day experiences being a newlywed building a life together living "Wifey's Rite of Passage" along to making the transition to motherhood one day.  Our plan is to make preparations mind, body, spirit, and financially to comfortably start family within the next 2 years. Sit back and enjoy as our grind unfolds and blossoms.